She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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