I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
