apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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