Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
