Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
