She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
