but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
