Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize