we have pet lesbian snakes
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize