Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
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