she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
