it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
