4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
