can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
love makes seman taste better
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
