You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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