I want to stick my p in your. b.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
