I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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