Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
two words: eviction party
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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