he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
