She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
