I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so explain again why im purple
no
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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