Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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