Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
