i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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