So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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