someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
