There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
