I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
porn star boner night. come get it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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