so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
