i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
