no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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