Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
