i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
