god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
