By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Your penis caused this!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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