New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
