I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
