brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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