There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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