I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
