i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
