the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
being pregnant is like rehab
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize