Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
