There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
