chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm too high and old for this...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
