You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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