And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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