I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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