He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
