Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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