Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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