Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
