Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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