And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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