Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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