No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
