just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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