I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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