i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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