I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
