if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize