i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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