Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
