i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
