Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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