I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I DEMAND FORESKIN
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize