I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
