What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
