No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm jealous of your bromance
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
