tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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