I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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