Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
