WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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