You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
