i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
